You Can Name Your Ex After A Cockroach For Valentine’s Day

Call us petty or dramatic, but naming my ex-boyfriend after a cockroach is the best Valentine’s Day gift I could ever give myself!

The Bronx Zoo in New York is offering bitter ex-boyfriends and girlfriends that chance to “Name a Roach” for Valentine’s Day. For just $15, you can have a living Madagascar hissing cockroach with the name of your choice.

You could also get one named after your current lover if they are into bugs, but I think that may be a little too much.

You are probably now thinking of other types of insects that would better suit your ex, but a cockroach is the perfect bug. They don’t seem to go away no matter how hard you try and can live for almost a month without food, 2 weeks without water, and up to 1 week without a head.

Just fill out this online form and you’ll be emailed a certificate verifying your newly named cockroach.

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Chris Winters is an avid writer who also loves to hunt ghosts when she’s not at her keyboard. Although she once saw someone walking towards her with a sheet over their head, she’s yet to confirm that they exist.